April Sinclair's Blog

Proposition 8!

by April Sinclair

November 22, 2008, 9:52 pm

I can't think of another issue that has pulled me in different directions like Proposition 8. Let me be clear. I voted against Proposition 8 without hesitation. Some of my friends seem to live in a rock solid, No on 8, pro same sex marriage world. These friends also have the tendency to be white. I have other friends who say things like, "The kids(gays and lesbians) just won't let this one go, will they?" These friends, although gay also tend to be black. I don't even broach the subject with straight, black friends. I want to be spared from hearing their outrage over gay and lesbian rights being called a civil rights issue. However, these friends are not nearly as anti same sex marriage as some of my relatives. I've had a couple of preliminary discussions before the out and out heated debate possibly awaiting me when I visit during the holidays.

"I've never announced my sexuality,"my mother stated in a phone conversation today. "Duh, maybe that's because you're heterosexual." I answered.

I can't believe that I can be loved and love people who are so apart on this issue. I have a lesbian friend who doesn't condemn a man for snatching a cross from an elderly woman's hand and stomping on it. And a close relative who reminds me that homosexuality is an abomination. Is there no common ground?

I celebrated the marriage of two women friends, standing with them in San Francisco's City Hall this summer with their two beautiful, adopted children. They are a loving, committed couple and fantastic parents. I was proud to witness their love and family being validated in a legally recognized ceremony.

So, why do I struggle to find common ground with family members who find it easier to accept a system that allows a person to marry an axe murderer than a loving partner of the same sex? And, conversely, why do I find myself asking why the No on 8 crowd has to insist on using the word, "marriage?" There are no easy answers. I know that the religious people in my life will not budge. They live in a world of right and wrong and God's laws. Happiness and pleasure are considered trivial by comparison. I will never agree with their views and yet we can still love each other and celebrate Christmas.